No Small Talk, Episode 20, “When Are They Coming Back?,”

 

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

IT’S OUR SEASON FINALE!

Matt and Stephanie are taking a bit of a break so for the season finale, they thought they’d ask ALL the questions…in the form of The Newlywed Game. Everything from favorite food to which celebrity they’d bring back from the dead…before the break, you get to learn a little more about your hosts from the last 20 weeks.

Thanks to all our listeners for a very fun first season! We’ll be back soon!
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No Small Talk, Episode 19, “Beez In The Oven,

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

1. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is 10 minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?

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No Small Talk, Episode 18, “The Meatbag Argument,”

 

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

Imagine the following three sensations:

  1. Chewing and swallowing the first mouthful of your favorite food after starving yourself for 48 straight hours. The food is prepared perfectly.
  2. Lying down on an especially cozy bed after 12 hours of nonstop physical labor on a cold day.
  3. The first moment of urinary release after having held a completely full bladder for more than 90 minutes.

For the rest of your life, you will feel one of these three ways, all the time. This is how you will always feel, 24 hours a day (you won’t be doing the specific activity, but you’ll always be experiencing the act’s accompanying euphoria). Which one will you select?

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No Small Talk Episode 17: “Official Podcast For Gorillas,”

 

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

  1. Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called super gorilla. Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign-language lexicon of more than 12,000 words, an ID of nearly 85, and- most notable- a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs 700 pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unblockable” and would likely average six sacks per games (although Jackson concedes that the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear that he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

You are the commissioner of the NFL: would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

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No Small Talk, Episode 16: Bruce Springsteen Reupholsters The Classics

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

This week Matt and Stephanie stray from the “hypertheticals” and discuss the ideas of cover songs and why Mandy Moore picked B and C sides for her cover album Coverage. Also on the music front they discuss the idea of music snobbery and how people listen and live with music.

The topic of religion comes up as Steph asks Matt the question of: if you were with someone and they were perfect in every way, but  had a fundamental belief different than something you believe strongly in.

Would you stay with them?

 

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No Small Talk, Episode 15: Rest in Peace Evel Knievel

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

    You are given a choice between two rewards. The first reward us to be twice as intelligent as you are right now-you’ll be able to read twice as fast and remember twice as much, the size of your vocabulary will double, and you’ll be able to solve intellectual problems with twice your current aptitude. The second reward is that you will never again feel sick (even when you are) and you can always be whatever weight you want, regardless of what you eat or how little you exercise-you can simply imagine the body you would like to have and that is the weight you will magically become.

Which reward do you choose?

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No Small Talk, Episode 14: PENGUINS CAN’T FLY

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

While traveling on business, your spouse (whom you love) is involved in a plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. It is assumed that everyone on board has died. But then the unbelievable happened: It turns out that your spouse has survived. He/She manage to swim to a desert island, where he/she lived in relative comfort with one other survivor (they miraculously located most of the aircraft’s supplies on the beach, and the island itself was filled with ample food sources).

The two survivors return home via helicopter, greeted by the public as media sensations. During a press conference, you cannot help but notice the other survivor physically embodies the type of person to whom you mate is normally attracted. Moreover, the intensity of the event has clearly galvanized a relationship between the two crash victims. They spend most of the interview explaining how they could not have survived without the other person’s presence. They explain how they passed the time by telling anecdotes from their respective lives, and both admit to having virtually given up the possibility for rescue. At the end of the press conference, the two survivors share a tearful good-bye hug. It’s extremely emotional. After the press conference, you are finally reunited with your spouse. He/She embraces you warmly and kisses you deeply.

How long do you wait before asking if he/she was ever unfaithful to you on this island? Do you ever ask? And if your mate’s answer is “yes,” would that (under these specific circumstances) be acceptable?

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No Small Talk, Episode 13 “Strangle You In The Huddle”

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

  1.  You need to have the inside of your home painted. A thorough online search available professional painters indicates that one candidate is especially ideal for your needs- he has earned high approval ratings from past employers and is relatively inexpensive. However, when you contact him by phone, he mentions one strange detail about his work habits: He insists on watching pornography while painting. “Don’t worry- I don’t masturbate to it. It’s just for entertainment,” he says. “But it’s the only way I like to paint. This being the case, I will need to use your DVD player to view my personal collection of erotic films while I work. I may also use your cable service to purchase on-demand or pay-per-view pornographic movies, but I will itemize any movies I watch and subtract the cost from you overall bill.”

Do you employ this pornography enthusiast as your house painter?

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No Small Talk, Episode 12 “Mail Time!”

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions…BUT NOT THIS WEEK!

Our esteemed hosts thought it might be fun to do something different this week and bring emails they received into their conversations. Instead of answering Chuck Klosterman’s questions, they would answer some of the fans’ questions! Wrestling, Seinfeld, rape-filled references in old cartoons, and oral history about oral histories.

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No Small Talk, Episode 11 “Point Break With Elephants”

 

The famed author, Chuck Klosterman, created intricate questions in an attempt to avoid “small talk.” Per his words: “Some people are extremely good at making small talk. These people are better known as ‘idiots’. “

Having all their conversations be nothing but small, Matthew Ryan and Stephanie Sottile thought it’d be fun to answer some of these questions:

    1. 1. Let us assume that you have the ability to telekinetically change culture when you actively experience it. Your mind can now dictate what you see and hear. For example, if you were listening to Pearl Jam’s Yield and you wanted the music to be heavier, it would immediately sound as though Mike McCready’s guitar had been tuned differently in the studio. If you were watching The Office on NBC and decided that Jim should marry Pam (or Karen, or both), you could make it happen- all you would need to do is think about that specific desire. You could stare at an oil painting and unconsciously change the color contrasts. If a PG-13 romantic comedy grew dull, you could force it to evolve into an eroticized NC-17 thriller. You could (essentially) write books as you read them, eliminating certain characters and redirecting plot points as they occurred in the text. However, such changed would only apply to your experience; you could kill off Han Solo at the end of Return Of The Jedi, but that would not change the movie for anyone else. All other people would possess the same personal psychic powers as you.

    Would you want this ability? And- if this became reality- would art retain any meaning whatsoever?

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